Any all time low fans? Yea i've been listening to this song like every time I'm in the car. The one part goes "And if I had to pull you out of the wreckage you know I'm never gonna let you go". I can't help but wish i had someone to pull me out of the wreckage of my life.
Still not feeling any better. Did get a surprising day off however which was a nice surprise. I got homework done and found out it's gonna take $70 just to find out what's wrong with my computer. My dad said he would go halfway on a new laptop though, at first i said no, but I think im going to. I would like to post on here from something other then my phone. Anyways. I think I only have 1 more week at this office. I'm scared of my evaluation cause I haven't sat with him once other then extractions. I stayed home sick yesterday and was off today. And if this was my last week? Well oh well I guess? One bad evaluation won't kill me.
I'm gonna weigh myself on Sunday. Hopefully I'll be feeling better and we'll see how much i lost from just being sick. For once I looked in the mirror today and actually saw slight signs of improvement. Still, I need to lose more if I'm gonna look even close to nice for this summer.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sick
Ugh since ive been in school, a program at my old high school, Ive been so sick. This is the second time I've had what I think is a sinus infection. My head feels like it's gonna explode everytime I sit up. At least tomorrow I get to go buy something for it. I have no money this week cause I had to pay off school, but I'm so glad I'm finally done!
I weighed myself for the first time cause i've been so scared, I'm still around 113. I wish I had a digital scale :(. But I'm under 115 so I'm happy. All this running around on clinicals is helping me maintain. But I'm trying to get back to a better eating schedule, eating only what I have to, but trying not to skip out too much cause then I just end up binging. Then it's a while downward spiral of depression and too much self hatred.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really be happy with myself and my life. Right now it seems like such an unobtainable goal. I seriously envy those who can look in a mirror and actually like what they see, and go out and not worry what everyone is thinking when they see them.
I weighed myself for the first time cause i've been so scared, I'm still around 113. I wish I had a digital scale :(. But I'm under 115 so I'm happy. All this running around on clinicals is helping me maintain. But I'm trying to get back to a better eating schedule, eating only what I have to, but trying not to skip out too much cause then I just end up binging. Then it's a while downward spiral of depression and too much self hatred.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever really be happy with myself and my life. Right now it seems like such an unobtainable goal. I seriously envy those who can look in a mirror and actually like what they see, and go out and not worry what everyone is thinking when they see them.
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