Bad Day

Today sucked. I had like no will power at all an had too much at dinner. I hate these night binges. Usually I'm good with it, I'll eat carrot sticks or egg whites. Today? Macaroni and cheese. Like really, I dont know what came over me! I've been stressed. Just so much work in school, but I NEED this program. And this guy. We aren't officially together I don't even know what to call it. But it's not easy, I like him, not as much as he likes me and he always says how much that hurts him which makes me feel like a bitch and then I eat this crappy food. I've been in this weird mood lately. I just dont want to do anything, and I don't want to do anything with him, physically. He pressures me without making it obvious like guilt tripping me. Ugh! This just sucks. Half the time I'm stressed and it's great, I lose my appetite completely so I don't have to worry about feeling hungry. After a few days of heavy restriction or fasting I feel so sick I have to eat something. But anyways other times I do the whole emotional eating thing. At least I exercise enough to help balance it somewhat. I'm afraid to weigh myself though. Last time it was 120 *shudders* so I started restricting and lost 3 lbs pretty fast. Then this guy started with all this crap and now I'm eating Mac and cheese... I'll get back on track. I'm gonna plan my meals for the rest of the week at school. I need to get control back. Without I have nothing. I AM nothing.