My dad made me eat 2 slices of pizza for dinner. Like really? These past two days I've actually been doing good, and why bother notice now?! Why do anything now, where were you when I fucking 7 and crying to myself that I didn't look like the popular girls, that I was too fat to be one of them? I wish I could bring myself to purge, I feel so sick and heavy. I hate pizza, it's so greasy. Im glad I have work tomorrow, I won't have to eat at all until around 5, if I do at all. No, I'm just gonna make it a fasting day. And sunday. That will be good, and i know I'll feel better after.

Tomorrow im also going to get a tanning package, i told my friend she could come if she wants because she's home for the weekend, and she was all why go tanning? Wait and do it when I'm home for summer, it's bad for you, blah blah. I really wanted to say i do enough to my body already that I'm not too worried about tanning maybe once or twice every other week until sound June when i can actually go to the beach (If and only if I look good enough). But i couldn't say that. I can't ever say that.

I've been getting headaches a lot lately too, like they've always been frequent but not every night. So I've just been going to bed early because it hurts too much to even stay awake. Oh! I put anorexia into the search on fanfiction.net and read a bunch of poems. Insist I could express how I feel like that, but for now I'm happy with my blog, at least I'm not keeping it all inside.