Oh how O wish that was true. If it was I would be in another state right now, seeing a real great guy. Going in line with the song of my title. It has been a while since everything has gone right or i've had any reason at all to smile. But he makes me smile. I can't say he makes everything right. He doesn't even know about me. About this. But how do you tell someone about this? About how I really feel, about what I do?
It's been a while since I posted so I guess I should update you all. Some posts back, around December I wrote about my ex who had been harassing me...well he's been texting me recently. Says everything wasn't said by him and he would never have done that, that he loved me (doubt it) and well anyway he wants to hang out. I said ok and we had one thing set up, but it didn't pan out, now it's just a bunch of misses. I'm not even sure if i should see him, but I'm going to. I won't let anything happen, and I won't ever get back together with him, but if it wasn't him...I don't know. He said he wants me in his life, and I guess I can do that, in a small way. No on knows except one friend of mine. My dad would be so mad, and I can't blame him. But I'm not a child anymore. I can make my own choices, I just don't know how to talk to him about that.
Anyways, I gained. I feel like such a failure. I don't even want to go to the doctor tomorrow and step on that scale. Although maybe this will get her off my case a little bit about it. I'm having such a hard time staying on track though and I don't know why. I'm just in a spiral and I can't get out. I feel so lost in myself...
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