Woke up today feeling a little sick, lots of sinus congestion and a sore throat, again, which i think was cause of my sinuses cause I feel better now. Well I took the alka seltzer liquid gels for sinus congestion, and every time I take them I fall asleep for hours. So I took them around 10, woke up around 5. Got to get up early for work tomorrow and I'm not gonna be able to fall asleep. I hate this. Half of me wishes he would just fire me. I hate working there, but I know I'm not gonna be able to find another job so I can't quit. If I got fired, I could get unemployment, I don't really want to rely on it, but it would be a source of income while I look for a job. I'm gonna look through the phone book for some ortho offices I think, check and make sure my resume looks ok...and mail it out again.
Ate too much junk when I woke up, so now I'm sick and mad at myself. I just need to get things in order. I'm so stuck in a rut and I can't get out. I don't even know where to begin. I'm scared to try to get into nursing school. I feel like I'm not smart enough to get in. Is it even what I want to do? I never thought this would be my life. In grade school I always figured I would go away to college and get a good job and be happy. Now I never really got to go away to college, don't know what I really want to do, and I'm not happy.
Bleh, I always complain about the same stuff. I guess I have something to write about though, me and my friend, the one I'm staying with while her parents are away, we want to start looking at apartments and stuff in another state. But it all depends on her boyfriend finding a job. She told him if it's not soon, then you know she can't just be living at home on unemployment. Even with his job, politics, he wouldn't be home a lot, so it kinda makes sense. So that's where we're at now; thinking of places we could move, close enough to see our families, but far enough away to be independent. And what kind of jobs we'll take. I also have to consider going back to school there or here. And of course what degree. Being a big girl sucks haha.
Last post I mentioned missing L. I just need to get over him. He obviously doesn't want me, and I can't change that. I started talking to this other guy, and he's really nice. The kind of guy who treats you right, the one you always just put in the "friend zone". My best friend decided to give a "nice"
guy a chance, the one in politics, and she's the happiest I've ever seen her. So I really want to give him a chance, and the first step is letting L go. So that's what I'm going to do. I've waited long enough, and it's done nothing but cause more pain and stress in my life. It's not going to be easy, but I can do it.
Hope all you lovlies are doing great!
moving out and being independent really helps improve attitude in my opinion. I feel very happy out on my own and I feel like i accomplish more, so maybe that's just all u need to pick u up out of your rut. And give that guy a chance!! You never know what kind of wonderful thing it could blossom into!! :)
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