Cause now that hes gone baby gone baby gone you aint got nothing to lose. I'm trying to embrace that currently. And it's so hard. As Zoie said, and as I know, he really is the one that got away. I hate that. So much. Why doesn't anything good ever happen to me?
Well I called the people about going back to school today, they'll pay for the class I want, based on my income. If I go back to school I'm not gonna be able to work at the office so that's why I wanted to see if I could get it paid for. I'm gonna go to the school on Friday since I'm off and see if I can even get into the class this semester since it starts in February, and yea I'll have to quit. I don't know if I want to wait or not, see if I can just get regular financial aid instead of this way, but thats all something I have to look into on Friday.
There is a guy I've been talking to, he's so nice, but he's not Him...and I'm trying to not let that get in the way, but it's so hard. Maybe it's just too soon, I don't doubt it, but my friend was talking about me and her little sister saying we were the same, we aren't ever without a guy for long. I think that's the problem, but I really don't know how to be alone. I'm never truly alone, theres always been some guy. And before Him...we're just gonna call him L...well I didn't really care about them or anything, he changed all of that. Now I can't stop thinking about him, and just hating myself for letting it come to this.
I ate too much today too. Really cant do anything right these days.
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