Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, but I guess I just don't want to bring you all down.  I wish I had a normal life sometimes...I hate that I don't even have $3000 in the bank, and POS car, and a job I hate, with no idea what I want to do with my life.  On top of all my other problems.  And I still haven't heard from him.  I'm more worried he got sent somewhere with just no time or way to tell me.  This relationship scares the hell out of me sometimes, but I want nothing or no one else.  Just keep your fingers crossed I hear from him soon please and thank you!

My best friend is talking about getting married in 2 years. They havent been together for a year and they already know. Shes moving with him in January. Is it bad I'm jealous?  That all I want is to wake up every morning next to the guy I love, cook dinner for him when he gets home from work (and possibly eat it), to fall asleep in his arms.  And know that everything is going to be ok.  Sorry, I'm just going through a slight depression of missing him.  Most days its fine, I know this isnt permenant...but being the girlfriend sucks...you have no importance in the military unless your married.

So I'm gonna ask you guys, how much do you think is a reasonable amout to have saved up before I decide to really just move away and live by myself...or move with him.  I don't want to depend on him, but I know its not likely I'll find a job right away.  I still need to buy a new car, so thats insurance and payments as well.  It really isn't fun growing up lol. 

Oh!  And my dad.  Well he got fired from his job a few months back (long kinda funny story).  Well he's on unemployment now, our only source of income, and while he still has plenty to be coming in...it's not gonna last, and he's had no luck finding a job.  They either don't want to pay him what he deserves for what he knows, hes not "qualified" meaning certified or licensed even though he knows it, or they just want younger guys.  My mom can't work, she had a stroke when I was 4 and gets social security.  So my dads friend told him about this company that is doing gold mining...in Africa, his friend works as a pilot for them.  They need drill operators and such and my dad can do that.  6 weeks there and 3 weeks home.  My dads really considering it as a last option, like if it came to us losing the house, which is honestly a possiblity here, so many people are.   I really dont want him to be gone for a month and a half and home for just under a month.  I would miss him so much.  But really...I think it's gonna come to that.  He won't tell us how much longer he can be on unemployment, but it's not really enough. 

Well. Thats my life right now.  Missing my boyfriend, hoping to make some kind of change for the better with what I want to do with my life, and my dad possibly working in Africa.

I hope your all doing well...take care lovlies!